During the initial stages of a relationship, everything seems so perfect and sweet. Often times, as a couple you get caught up in fairytale illusion that builds up from whirlwind courtship and climaxed with a happy marriage ceremony. Only to realize that marriage is no bed of roses, that you have to fully invest in it and figure out some things along the way. Relationships are made of both sweet and sour experiences and certainly, marriage doesn’t come with a manual on how to handle challenges when they arise. Just like it takes two to tangle, affairs also require you and your partner’s effort to make it work.
Building a strong relationship that can last many years, perhaps even a lifetime, means you both have to go through trial times together. Issues will arise and you’ll argue, the core foundations of your marriage will be put to test, and if you are not keen, you’ll both succumb to the pressure, and probably give up on the marriage altogether. Considering that almost every relationship has twist and turns, it’s important you identify the problems facing yours and find working solutions before they escalate. One way to solve your problems is through a couples counselor. A relationship counselor is a person who specializes in helping couples overcome trying times and find solutions to their problems.
However severe your relationship is as a result of recurring or unattended problems, almost all couples can find help from a relationship expert. Couples have different reasons to seek to counsel. Whether is an unfaithfulness, misunderstanding, financial problems, communication among others, there is always a right channel to address those issue with the guidance of a couples counselor. Research indicates that about 93% of patients who’ve gone for marriage counseling have developed effective mechanisms for dealing with their marital challenges. The following are some of the major signs and pointers that your marriage needs a therapist.
Communication
Of all relationship issues, majority of them stem from communication. Thriving relationships are based on good communication between the couples. If you notice there is a problem or even a slight change in how you two communicate, then you probably need to consider counseling. Once couples find it difficult to share what they feel in an acceptable manner, then it even becomes difficult to solve small disputes, which could otherwise be addressed through communication. Finding couples counselor can help mend bridges and improve communication.
Unfaithfulness
Regardless of who had an affair outside marriage, infidelity cases are often the number one marital problem most couples deal with. There is nothing hard than trying to forgive a cheating partner, let alone forget. Since there aren’t any rules and patterns to follow in order to forgive and move forward, it takes a lot of dedication and commitment to make that happen. It’s painful to be cheated on, but in cases where you both don’t want to let go, it’s important you find a marriage counselor who’ll take you through therapy to find a lasting solution. If at all you’re both willing to talk it out and forgive each other, then the marriage can be salvaged.
Love fades
Well many would agree that at some point in a relationship things seem to be flat and affection levels seem to have dropped to a point that you no longer find your partner attractive. This could be as a result of unresolved issues in the past that weren’t handled in the best way possible. But when this happens, some couples start exhibiting negative feelings, which impend they way they treat each other. As a result, sexual life is affected and that’s when couples start to cheat on each other. Don’t let this be your case. Immediately you start experiencing withdrawal from your partner, it’s advisable you either talk it out and try to understand what is really going on or go for marriage therapy to seek expert help.
Other significant factors like keeping secrets, family issues, finance, personal stress and job security can also negatively affect your relationship. Lastly, studies show that couples who undergo premarital counseling have a 30% higher success rate than those who don’t. So it’s very important that you both visit a couples counselor.